Two Years

I havent posted anything in a really long time, but for some reason, the feeling just seemed right today. So here goes.  

Two years is supposed to be the bench mark for people that under-go traumatic experiences for life to return to normal. The depression is supposed to subside, anxiety should normalize, and life should go on as it was. Ive heard this from my neurologist, therapists, and psychologists-- so you could say it is a pretty universally agreed upon situation. It has been 717 days, and that means that in just 11 days, my life should be as it was. 
Let me just say, this is bullshit. 

Just because I survived my car accident doesnt mean that I didnt lose my life. Granted, I am blessed beyond belief that my heart never stopped beating, but I lost something significant that night that I will never get back. I'm a different person, and even if my temperament returns to what it was, I can't imagine I'll ever trust people the same, or view society in a way that I used to.

I think a lot of people think of traumatic experiences in different ways. For a long time, I underestimated my own situation, because on the outside, I was fine. I only just realized recently that if I had changed one aspect of the moments leading up to getting in the car that night, I literally would not be alive. I think that's something that a lot of people forget-- simple acts have a lot of power over us. I didn't consider the fact that I almost died as something serious because I wasn't in a hospital bed, but in reality, I did almost die-- and that's not something you can see with the naked eye. 
I just want to take some time to encourage people to redefine their definition trauma. Trauma comes in all shapes, and often times people can't see it.

This post has been a bit of a ramble of lots of thoughts, but I want to end with my goal for these words. I hope these words make you feel something. I hope these words encourage you to reach out-- reach out for support, or reach out a supportive hand. I hope these words encourage you to be kind.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts.